I know you're all getting sick of this theme but you haven't been separated from the one you love for over two months so kindly shove it. I'm on my way to work and can now count the hours on two hands until Iza's returned to me. I'm all kinds of grinning like an idiot now! Heh, wicked... talk to you all again later... I've gotta pay some attention to the road here. Later... Art

Twenty-four hours remaining.

Yup. In roughly 24 hours Iza'll touchdown. Boo-yeah, baby... boo-yeah.

My co-workers have been busy giving me all sorts of tips and such for her arrival, none of them suitable for public places, and many of them not suitable in private among consenting adults either.

Ah, co-workers.

Good times.

I'll try to do you boys proud.

...Art

Hey, look, I can do it one handedly!

Wow. From counting on two hands to counting on one went by in NO time. Wicked-cool.

...Art

Oh wow, yeah, that's pretty fucking gay!

Okay, so those of you who read Iza's blog a while back know that she mentioned seeing the gayest music video ever, but says there's no actual "gay"ness... I dunno man, I've seen the video. The song's horrible, and the video... with three guys who look German and sound a little bit like German only without the angry horkin'-up-a-loogie accent thing... maybe they're French? How could she not think they're gay?

Wow.

Even the "pilot" on the plane, pulling back on the stick, that caused the airplane to pitch upwards in an erect penis sorta way... or the shot of the three guys in the band in the studio, with the one guy in the middle wrapping his arms around the other two thumping their chests alternately? Or when they were dancing on the wing of the plane, and you couldn't really see one of the guys 'cuz he was bumpin' and grindin' behind one of the other band members... wow.

Okay, any of you who talk to me online, ask me for this file. Heh, sweet mother o' crap.

Yeah. I'm done. Poor Iza, subjected to this euro-trash.

So, Pheonix clubbin' date anyone? We need to restore some natural balance to things in Iza's life...

...Art

God I love Canada

So then. I heard from a friend of mine about a mutual friend, Dan, and his interesting RIDE spot check experience. I've decided to share this with you all, because... well, because I'm confused, and happy.

So, this Dan, like pretty much every other Dan I know except for one, is a pothead. Like, Uber-Super-Mega like. A couple of days ago, he was driving along and was stopped by RIDE. Well, wouldn't you know he smoked a bowl not 10 minutes earlier...

The officer asked him if he'd been drinking. He replied with a quick "No sir."

...it was a female cop though.

"Sir?"

He corrected himself with a "No ma'am."

So anyway, she laughs and asks him if he's sure he hasn't been drinking that night. He again denies drinking. She looks at him for a little bit, the smell of pot dumping out into the night-time air. She looks off to the side where two other cruisers were parked, and other officers were working. She turns back to him and says, "So I guess you're a smoker."

He says yes.

"Let me rephrase that", she says, "So you're a toker?"

He denies it.

She looks at him closely and notices black dirt on his face and asks him what the black stuff on his face is. He explains that he'd spent some time carrying iron around earlier and must have smudged his face in the process. He shows her his arms, which were also covered in iron-ick.

She nods, says "I see", and tells him to have a good night and drive safe.

He drives off.

Okay, so... what? What the fuck? That's AWESOME. She smells pot, and doesn't follow up on it! I mean, I'm really dead-set against this whole driving under the influence of anything deal, but the fact that the cop didn't hassle the pothead at all fucking RULES!

God, I can't wait for "Them" to decriminalize the stuff.

I might just have to vote for the Marijuana Party in Monday's election.

...Art
(pssst! six days!)

ONE WEEK UNTIL SCHEDULED TOUCHDOWN!

Long overdue blog

Yeah. So I *was* going to make that Long-Time-Coming music related blog today along with a little entry to help explain my last blog post.

...but today, something happened that pretty much killed most of my music blog.

First, I'll start by revisiting that last post. It came to my attention last night that apparently not everyone sees the world the way I do in my Tang-Devoid hallucination. Here's a little IM log to illuminate the problem and give you all some insight to better understand where I'm coming from, with the name of the other participant changed so as to protect the identity of Joe, our buddy the Mexijew.

Er, I mean, the anonymous participant in... ah, fuck it.

[00:04] ANONYMOUS: ok I dont get it
[00:05] Art - ...so lonely. *sigh*: Get what?
[00:06] ANONYMOUS: that was the blog? you miss Iza? I knew that already
[00:06] Art - ...so lonely. *sigh*: Uhm
[00:06] Art - ...so lonely. *sigh*: There were pathetic attached pictures.
[00:07] Art - ...so lonely. *sigh*: The pictures are key.
[00:07] ANONYMOUS: the instructions and the cord?
[00:07] Art - ...so lonely. *sigh*: They're examples of what I go through on probably a dozen occasions throughout the day
[00:07] Art - ...so lonely. *sigh*: right.
[00:07] Art - ...so lonely. *sigh*: The instructions, and the bundle of strapping
[00:08] Art - ...so lonely. *sigh*: What, is it not clear to everyone else?
[00:08] ANONYMOUS: ??
[00:08] Art - ...so lonely. *sigh*: I dunno, man, everywhere I look, I'm seeing vaginas.
[00:08] Art - ...so lonely. *sigh*: Go look at those two pictures again
[00:09] Art - ...so lonely. *sigh*: The strap even has a Happy Button
[00:09] ANONYMOUS: sweet jesus

So there. Uhm... yeah. Anyway, having made this post, I suddenly can't bring myself to do the music blog again. Especially now that much of it's utterly irrelevant. Today, it was announced that the Lollapalooza tour has been cancelled. Every date, each country. Dead.

This summer suddenly looks a whole lot more bland.

Fmeh.

A week and a fistful of hours to go though, and all'll be a'ight. I hope. Music scene be damned!

...Art

I've got something on my mind.

So yeah, eight days stand between now and that Wednesday Iza's comin' back. I've gotta say, I was a bit of a mess when she left for a few weeks. Then, I started feeling a bit better about it; I felt like she'd died. It's not as horrible and morbid as it sounds, just that I felt sort of like I feel when someone I know croaks in that I remember them, I haven't seen them for a while, and it's just not possible to see them again.

At the point where there were three weeks left, I was doing pretty well. It started going a bit downhill from there though. The time from three weeks to two went by rather quickly, and now from two weeks to just over a week blazed by too. One work week left, and then the weekend... weekends tend to chop three days off my wait without me noticing, which is good.

Why?

Well, because I'm fucking going insane.

I figure, hell, I've got a blog. I pretty much dump my thoughts here anyway. I really have no shame. ...though I probably should.

Fuck it.

The fact that I really have no shame allows me to share with you a little story, and some grainy pictures I snapped up on a shit-assed Sanyo cell phone.

This afternoon I gave Iza a quick phone call. Well, quick by our standards, as it's not uncommon for me to call her and spend an hour or two on the phone with her. Yeah, this month's cell phone bill's going to be FUN. Emphasis on the F and the U. Anyway, during this shorter phone call during lunch break at work, I told Iza how I've been a bit of a mess the last little while, and how every day seems worse than the one before it. She's on my mind a lot lately; a whole hell of a lot. Which, I guess is good, but it's starting to interfere with uhm... oh... SANITY.

Yeah. I've got something on my mind.

Here's a picture I snapped up from an instruction sheet for a little hardware kit I was assembling today. It's an illustration demonstrating proper placement of a pull rope used to unroll a swimming pool's solar blanket on a round pool with the reel located in the center of the pool.



Also, here's a picture of a bundle of ten straps used to attach the pool cover to the reel using a bunch of screws and buckles. The ten straps are folded twice and bound with a rubber band, and go into a hardware box that includes some bearings, handles, two frame pieces, self-tapping screws for the aluminum tubes, plastic screws that go through the blanket itself, strap plates, instructions, two pairs of adapters that allow the handles to mate with two different sizes of tubes, and a drill driver bit for the self tapping screws. Yeah, I fucking love how including distracting details somehow legitimizes everything in my mind.



Heh, I'm pathetic, and I don't care.

Iza, you've fucking RUINED me.

Fair's fair, I guess.

Hope you've all enjoyed a snicker at my expense...

...Art

Wheee!

Well, today's a very special and important day. Okay, maybe not so important, and special only in a mathematical sort of way if you overlook the fact that it's Father's Day. I dunno how many if any blog readers of mine are fathers, but if any of you are, congrats on your ability to procreate.

So then. Today is mathematically special, 'cuz I can now, for the first time, count the number of days standing between Iza and myself on my two hands. TEN DAYS REMAINING.

Boo-yeah. Can't wait.

The weather's also nice at the moment, and I'll be stepping out in a second to run some errands, so it'll be nice to wander out into the sun. Hopefully lift my spirits a bit; things around here have been kinda shitty as of late. But that's a long angry blog, and I'm trying to keep this one happy-dappy.

Ten days! Whooo!!

Talk to youz all later...

...Art

There IS a God.

Indeed. This past weekend, I've received confirmation that there is in fact a God, and he likes meat and beer.

I went to the BBQ Cookoff and Craft Beer Show at St. Lawrence Market this weekend. Generally a good time, with the only not-so-good thing being the pigeons and seagulls. But especially the pigeons. One of them decided that it had to poop on Rhys, who then decided that he needed to shake it off himself and all over my face. Yeah, I wanted to beat the shit out of him, but he was my ride back so I let him live.

Christina, on the other hand, went to some Vegetarian Food Fair in Mississauga. And while she got splattered too, I'd gladly take pigeon shit over her splatterings.

See, on her way back from said Vegetarian event on her motorcycle, she decided that she wasn't going to wear her leather jacket and such 'cuz it was just a few major intersections away. Riding along, she was lagging a van, and off to the side of it, when the van hit a bunny that had been struck by another vehicle. When the van hit the bunny, bunny parts splattered everywhere... including all over her and her motorcycle. If that isn't God saying "Eat Meat", I dunno what is.

The beers I tried were largely good, now I have to hunt down some info on breweries and such, and the food... my Jeebus, so good. Had a good time.

Check this pic out, yo...



...I don't see that NEARLY OFTEN ENOUGH.

Take care, peeps.

...Art

A warm heart-felt fuck you very much.

Okay. I dunno what the fuck's going on, but for years now random shit's been happening to us in this hood. My dad had a bowling ball thrown through his car window a few years back. And lately, it's been egging. My car's been egged, and the paint damaged, the house has been hit... I'm pretty sure it's happened twice this week. Well, it happened again tonight, about an hour and a half ago. I got into my car, and zipped off... where I found three cars hanging out at the gas station down the road. Took down their plate numbers, whatever. As I'm cruising around though, I notice an Accord with some guys in it pulling out of my street and down Winston Churchill Blvd. For shits and giggles, I turned around and followed them a moment later. They pulled into the Rona parking lot at Eglinton. I watched them drive through it, into the parking lot of a McD's. I pulled into the Rona lot. I watched them drive around the building, then pull onto a parking lot road, and head out towards Eglington. I followed. They turned north on Winston Churchill back the way they came. I followed from a distance. They pulled into the Midas/Tim Hortons that many of you know of just south of my place. I turned on the street instead, drove down a bit, u-turned and watched the lot they turned into. They came out of that lot, and headed east along Erin Centre Blvd., driving right past me. I turned onto the street and followed again, where they turned into a residential area that's sort of the same area I live in.

So these fuckers were cruising. For what, I dunno. Were they the guilty ones? I dunno. What I do know though is that I wanna plunk down some coin on a camera and long-play VCR. So help me god if that Accord shows up with some fag hopping out, throwing shit, jumping back in, and driving away. I have the plate number. I will find and kill them. I'll have to. I was clearly given no alternative.

Wonder how much time I'd spend in jail for aggravated homicide...

...Art

Wait a second...

I'd like to correct something I said in the previous post about Iza's blog entry almost being too long for human endurance. I've since changed my mind as I just went and glanced over her entry. The thing's fucking huge. I only got through it because I love her.

Be forewarned, people.

...Art

YOU'VE BEEN JUICED!

Hey peeps.

Some stuff's happened since my last post, and I've got a fair chunk of time to kill, so hey! Here's a fresh entry for ya.

First off, congrats to Christina... yup, our little Denfo graduated and stuff. She got a nifty couple pieces of paper and everything! Way to go, Christina, hope it proves useful to ya.

Today was such a nice day. Sunny and warm. I went for a walk today for a few hours around the neighbourhood and the mall and it was really nice. Also, talked to Iza today who accompanied me on the cell for an hour and thirty-six minutes of my walk. Just the other day I was looking into my cell phone account and noticed that this month I've used only just over 300 minutes and my billing cycle resets in two days. That's a far cry from the 2,500-ish minutes per month I normally use. Much of that has to do with the fact that I haven't been using the phone much 'cuz of the hardware problems I've been having, and the rest has to do with the fact that Iza's out in Europe. So, today, I added 96 minutes of airtime to my total. Mmm, long distance bill's gunna be fun. Meh, whatever, it's worth every penny.

To those wondering how she's doing, check out her blog as she hastily posted an entry just recently. Uhm... the June 5th blog entry. It's an interesting read, and I'm told there's more coming up but she had run out of time. It's just as well, I told her that chunk she put up about her trip was just on the maximum threshold of what a blog entry should be. Any longer and I would have wandered off somewhere and never finished it.

Next item up on the block...

NEWS FLASH!! SYMPATICO STALKER REVEALED!

I received an email a couple of days ago, and when I replied I asked if the sender was my Sympatico Stalker. This is the reply I received:
___
So, yah, let's finally put this thing to bed .. I am the sympatico stalker! It was fun! I was holding off telling you till you got this message expecting that you'd notice a few more subtle hints and make the connection 100%. As you can see, I purposely used sloppy grammar & capitalization and emphasized "CHEERS" at the end; both of which you attributed to my writing style in your analyses. Also used the word "gig" below, which I also used on your site ("camping gig ... box gluing gig)! And, finally, examination of my actual email address would reveal that it IS a sympatico one. Hah .. Anyway, I tip my hat to you for the fine detective work you exerted in this pursuit! Never stalked before. It's kind of fun. I highly recommend trying it out sometime!
___

So who was it? Why, none other than JD. I had the little bastard pegged! Yaaay me! So, Joe D., welcome to the Blog... officially this time! I'm glad you enjoyed your first time stalking. I however will pass on stalking myself; the last time, when the police got involved, it was significantly less fun than it should have been.

A couple of TV show related things bothered me this week... First up, "Boohbah".

I was browsing the satellite guide and whatever channel the receiver was on last was broadcasting this show, so it was on in the corner of the screen. I was stunned. This show is kind of like Teletubbies, with people wearing stupid suits and dancing around and such. While that website doesn't appear to show clips from the live show, it gives a pretty good idea of what the problem with the show is. The website looks more cartoony than the TV show, as the TV show isn't some lame flash website but has actual high-end visual effects. I mean, the backgrounds and everything are these swirly computer generated fractal-like acid trips, and the characters, to me anyway, look like scrotums with mushroom penii, and the penis has eyes.

It's... just... so... wrong. When the apocalypse is upon us, and they're the ones commanding a generation of children to aid in the disposal of the bodies, let it be known that way back in mid 2004, I WARNED YOU ALL ABOUT THIS.

Another thing that is perhaps equally disturbing is this.

It's an article that mentions a little something about the pathetic life O.J. Simpson's got now. For those who don't want to bleed from your eye sockets, I'll cut and paste the more relevant stuff here: Asked by Van Susteren about reports of his involvement in an upcoming reality show, Simpson said, "it's a takeoff on something called 'Punk'd,' " an MTV hidden-camera show featuring Ashton Kutcher pranks on celebrities. "It's me doing gags as Juice ... what they call 'juicing' people."

...Yeah. OJ might be getting a TV show. Juiced. I don't understand how this was ever considered a good idea. I mean, OJ was never funny; he was hired for those Leslie Neilson movies as the token black guy, and his lines were poorly delivered and devoid of humour. What I'd love to know is how many celebrities would actually have themselves associated with this show. If I was a celeb, and OJ "juiced" me, I'd make damn sure my legal team would stop any of that footage from being aired. I would have something against appearing in a TV show run by a murderer that's walking free on account of... well, his account.

Good Charlotte got it right: "Well, did you know when you're famous you can kill your wife, and there's no such thing as twenty-five to life, as long as you've got the cash to pay to Cochran?"

Hopefully it'll get scrapped before it ever gets to air. I don't need to watch people get Juiced. I'm sure his wife Nicole didn't like getting Juiced much herself. Or that other guy, whatever his name was.

Again, I'm leaving the music blog for another time. I swear I'll get them out this year. By the time I do though, you'll all be sick of hearing about it, and will all be thoroughly disappointed in how insignificant and lame it ended up being. Oh well. Whatever. I don't care. It's Sunday, I'm staring a new week in the face, and I'm in a pretty good mood considering.

Why the good mood? Well, I talked to Iza a fair bit, and, well, at work I went out back with some co-workers and smoked up three days this last week. Which is a stat made even more impressive when you consider that I only went to work four days this week, as I took Thursday off to go to Christina's grad thing. I hope to continue this excellent trend into the coming work week.

Alrighty, I'm outta here.

...Art

Today... not a good day.

Yes, today's a bad day indeed. Today reinforces what I've always known to be true about certain people. Well, today it's one specific person. And he is, without a doubt, the biggest sack of shit I've ever been unfortunate enough to know.

Today I justified my hate. It's a bit disappointing, really, but I was right. It wasn't just teenaged angst. I had you pegged, you bastard. Yaaay me.

Mmm... Venting. This fucking blog thing's good fucking therapy. I don't give a shit what you say.

Oh, except this. Well, sort of. I mean, I guess I still don't give a shit but...

: i want sure about "punctualized" myself, however i typed it into ms word and it passed the spellcheck .. meh .. maybe "punctuated" .. whatever .. so let's let this carry onto one more entry and if you havent figured this out 100% by then i'll step fwd!

Well, here it is, SympaticoStalker. One more entry. After reading this, I briefly had two more people pop into mind, but no. One's only online at work, and the other I'm nearly certain is on cable. So, yeah, sorry, I'm not going to be able to make it more exciting than sticking to my original "JD" guess. If it's not you, JD, just say so, and give me a hint and I'll try again. I need some silly happy blog shit to look forward to.

Hrm... again my music post is being held back... just not in the mood.

Oh, except maybe this: Anyone want to hit North by North-East, or Lollapalooza, let me know. I need to get my loud music fix.

I'll try to end this on a sorta cheerful note, for your sake and mine, and go back to the hair incident. If you click on that Webcam thing under "links" over there on the right hand side, you may or may not see me bald. See, I haven't prepped the pic yet for that so if you check too early you'll see an old picture. On the other hand, if you click on the link too late, it might be replaced with a newer webcam picture. If that's the case, click here. I'll try and keep that link alive with that pic forever. ...again, if it's not valid and you're checking it shortly after I posted this, come back in a day or two and try again, maybe I'd've gotten around to it by then.

I've gotten the usual comments like "Hey, sucks to have cancer" or "So did any charity benefit from you shaving your head?"... but I've also gotten quite a few compliments. Apparently, I've got a nicely shaped head. Hah! Where've I heard THAT before? Anyway... if nothing else, I know what I'll look like when I'm bald.

With that, I'm off...

...Art