New frame of mind.

Okay. Today, fuck it.

Today I share happy stuff.

There's not much of it, but whatever.

Today I bought myself a hideous dress. And a pretty fugly wig too. Mmm... Hallowe'en is going to be fun. All you people who're coming to the par-tay had BETTER BE GETTING DRESSED UP TOO, or so help me I'll kill you all.

I'm disappointed in my inability to find any sexy footwear that'll fit my men's US size 11 feet though. Dunno what I'm going to do about that, but oh well.

I also bought myself a DSL modem from the Salvation Army. $20. It works too! Brand spankin' new from what I can tell. Complete with phone filters... which I don't need. But it also had a splitter which I needed since my sister took the one I had in my room. Now I can use my laptop AND have the phone plugged in at the same time again. Yay. Also, the starter kit that came with it has Norton Antivirus included. Booyeah. NAV's been telling me that my pirated copy's subscription to the virus update service is expiring in like two weeks. Now I have a new copy, and it's legit! Yay!

My toes are cold. Thought you'd like to know.

Hope you guys have a good Hallowe'en. Send me pics if you take any!

Take care, peeps...

...Art
Some assembly required

AAAARRRRGH!!

Yeah, and then my car gets broken into.

Three CD wallets missing so about $2500 in music, a little cash, dunno what else yet... can't wait to take inventory, oh it'll be such fun!

Sucks 'cuz a lot of those CDs were limited edition presses, things that'll never be replaced.

Heh, man, I give up. I've clearly pissed off some all-powerful being.

Anyone else having a bad year?

...Art

Mmm, the universe really does keep everything in balance.

Well, my happy Vampire Hunter induced streak didn't last long.

For those who don't know yet, Kermie went to the vet yesterday. X-rays showed either a tumour or infection ate away the bones in his wrist, and he has no feeling from the knees down in his rear legs due to a second issue, spinal injury by his hips. The hip thing is either another tumour (vet couldn't tell if it was, or if it came first then moved to the hand, or vice versa), another serious infection, or some thickening of the spinal bones due to some random-osis disease. Either way, he expects Kermie to lose the remaining feeling in his legs, tail, bladder control... Poor guy.

I was under the impression yesterday that blood and tissue was sent off for testing yesterday. With a $425 vet bill, that didn't seem an unreasonable expectation. We got a call back from the vet today, discussing his blood test results. No tissue was sent out.

Kermie's kidneys and liver are doing fine, he has an elevated white cell count. This is not surprising seeing as how he's fighting back against some injuries at the moment. Otherwise his blood reads fine, out of the 20 or so things the information sheet we were given yesterday said that the bloodwork tests for, only the white blood cell count was abnormal.

Apparently to have his hand opened up and tested'll set us back another $400 or so.

What the fuck? I mean, seriously, I thought vets were people with a sense of compassion for animals, people who devote their lives to improving the lives of random cute and interesting critters around the world.

That's just the smoke and mirrors illusion that's tossed up to obscure the view of their BMW roadsters, ski boats, Muskoka retreats, and Cessnas.

$425 to take a couple pictures (x-rays are nothing more than that, ultimately, right?) and extract a little blood to get tested?

Argh. Fuckers.

Some more great news: Yesterday, I fainted. Well, just about. I dropped, but didn't quite black-out. I woke up a little early, around 5am, but I went to sleep earlier the night before. I wasn't sleepy at the time. I also hadn't eaten yet, but I wasn't hungry either. I was at the vet, standing around, feeling fine, and looking at Kermie's x-rays...

Nausea. Man, I didn't feel so good. I then got dizzy. About a minute afterwards, I walked out of the room with the x-rays, and walked straight for the waiting room. I did a 360, and it was all I could do to reach out for a chair and try to fall into it.

I could hear people talking, but it was distant, quiet and distorted. Vision was blurred, couldn't focus on anything, and the planet was spinning. Broke out into a cold sweat.

I've never felt like this before, which alarmed me. I go camping all the time, deprive myself of sleep, eat sketchy... it's camping! Never an issue. I've never been this much a wreck when camping AND drinking. Camping, AND drinking, AND burning green.

Went to a walk-in clinic, they gave me a look-over, and hooked me up for a follow-up visit with another doc Monday afternoon.

I'll keep you guys posted.

Ah, life. Why doth thou sucketh so much?

If my life's planned out by some all-knowing, all-powerful being... he, she, or it is having a field day with me lately. If I could, I'd like to meet it, and kick it in the nuts.*


Fuck you, Fate.

...Art
*If applicable.

Sleeping Fugly.

Holy... shit.

Slept thirteen-and-a-half hours yesterday, interrupted only by three relatively short phone calls.

Oh... my... jeebus, I feel so good.

Like, seriously, wow. Who needs sex? Not me. Drugs? Hell no. Give me a whole lot of sleep!

Oh, wait... Sex, drugs AND SLEEP! OH MY GOD! WICKED!

Okay, several minutes have passed since I wrote that last line, and here's the reason why:

I hopped off the PC for a bit to let my sister check her email. While away, I hit the satellite and cruised around the guide a bit. What I found shocked me. It made me laugh, it made me cry... on PrideVision, after whatever show was currently listed in the guide, was the entry: "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter".

I *had* to click on Info. This is what it told me:

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter - Movie. Phil Caracas, Murielle Varhelyi, Maria Moulton.
(2002) Jesus uses kung fu to wipe out a horde of bloodsuckers who attack lesbians.

What... the... fuck? Oh no, wait people, it gets better! Hunting around for more information on the internet, got me this gem:

A vampire movie shot in Salt Lake City with Jesus and his trusty Mexican sidekick:

Amazingly, Demarbre received no gripes from the largely Mormon population even though he thought having "ultimate action hero" Jesus and his Mexican wrestler sidekick fight "mythological horrors and science gone mad" would infuriate biblethumpers.

Whuahahaha!

This website about the movie is worth a read too!

"Combining King-Fu action with Biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humor, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad, and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics. And did we mention it's a musical? This sure ain't Sunday school. "

Jesus and his Mexican sidekick, beating up on vampires that attack lesbians... done as a musical? God bless the gay community.

Wow, today is turning out to be an awesome fantastic day. Let's see if I can keep this streak going!

Later...

...Art

What the fuck?!?

Okay. Fuck you BCE. That's right, all of you. Bell Canada, Bell Mobility, Bell Globemedia, Bell Nexxia, Bell ExpressVu, Bell Emergis, Bell Ventures, Bell Sympatico, and any other Bell-tainted company out there, FUCK YOU ALL!

Why so much hostility?

There's $239.35 on my cell phone bill.

See, I used to be on a $25 plan. 100 minutes, free evenings. I paid an extra $6 for 20 calls per month of an unlimited duration during peak times. Sometimes I'd go over my allowed time. So, some brilliant Bell Mobility representative mentioned a discontinued calling plan they'd be willing to put me on. $40 for 350 minutes, evenings and weekends included. Oh, and per second billing. Nice. That fit my calling patterns better, and allowed me more time to use the phone too.

I told them I'd think about it. I wasn't sure if my overage charges from that previous month would be a routine thing. I thought not. So I'd consider it, and let them know after seeing my next bill. You know, figure out if it really is a better plan in the long run...

They put me on it anyway.

And now, my bill's $240 instead of $31.

...whaaaa?

I called client care, and they told me that my bill's silly-big because I got billed for like 1000 minutes over my inclusive time. Bullshit, I said. I asked for a breakdown. Only like 280 daytime minutes.

Turns out the evenings and weekends are for people who sign on to a two year contract. Uh... why would I sign on for a two year contract with a company that gives me sketchy reception at home? Or my sister's place? My girlfriend's? The Cave that Joe and Rhys call home? Erin Mills Town Center? Rona? You know, all the places I go when I'm not at home... The shitty reception is the reason why I declined their incentives to sign a contract in the first place. I'd rather pay for features they'd throw in for free if it means I can back out of service with them if when given enough time to look at my coverage problems they didn't fix things. Which, incidentally, is the case. They gave me a new cell phone to cure my coverage issues. Anyone of you guys who've spent any amount of time can attest to the "No Coverage" beeping alert given off by my phone. The NEW phone. The MIRACLE WORKING phone.

$240. Oh yeah, that suits my calling patterns MUCH better. And last month was a light month for me too. Too bad I didn't put some 2500 minutes on there! Oh, that'd be fun!

The client care rep apologized for the error. He also said he'd credit me that amount if I signed on a 24 month contract.

Right.

I'll get RIGHT on that.

They want to rip me off shy of $200, then offer to give it back if I shackle myself to them for two years? Two years with a carrier that FUCKED UP MY INVOICE BY ALMOST $200? TWO YEARS WITH A CARRIER WHOSE COVERAGE SUCKS IN THE PLACES I GO TO MOST OFTEN? No. Not so much with that.

I told the rep I'd pay the $40, and taxes. The rest they can kiss my ass for.

He said that's fine, but the remaining amount would go to collections.

Heh...

Whuahahahaha!!!

That's right people. Bell's got my life tapped or something. Oh, we'll wait until things REALLY suck ass for the guy, then lighten up ever so slightly... then WHAMMO! We'll fuck him over too! Ooooh, it'll be great fun!

Hey Bell? See you in court too.

Fuck, I should be a lawyer.

I trust your lives are going better than this. If not, give me a call. Only make it quick, before they disconnect my line. I'll come over and put you out of your misery.

...Art
YOU BELL MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Gettin' dirty...

Went quad-riding yesterday. Was nice to get out and do something I liked doing. Weather was co-operative, the leaves were all kinds of silly firey colours, was a good time.

Hell, Iza and I ate better on a dirt trail in the bush than most ever eat. Thanksgiving turkey, salad, and uh... cranberry jam sammiches, shrimp... some totally bitchin' home-made cake stuff... Did I mention shrimp? There are shrimptail leavings in the 16-Mile Creek. That might just confuse someone who stumbles upon them. Might even start a shrimp hunt or something. Hundreds of locals with nets and such trying to cash in on the shrimp-haul from the 16-Mile Creek.

Ah, locals. Some really great people (read: hicks) go down around there on quads and horses and such. We didn't run into any though.

Just as well, really. Bam-bam and his crew scare me.

Ah, fresh air and such. Mmmm... good time.

...Art
A dirty dirty boy

Ah, crazy people.

I'm at the library. Thought I'd blog.

Spent the last little while looking for storage and such. Why? Well, see, yesterday my old man and I had an interesting fight. No one'd believe what it was over. It apparently is frowned upon to help family members out who have no working vehicle. Heaven forbid you drive two parents around when they need help getting groceries or going to work. Also, shame on you if you drive to another city to check out a used car for them. Or help them make their mortgage payment shortfall a couple weeks ago. Or heaven forbid you have the nerve to spend hours upon hours trying to fix their car.

My condolances to those of you who've had the misfortune of dealing with or even really meeting my father.

Hey, Iza, I think I've got someone I'd like to nominate as a direct competitor to Ash for his title. In fact, I'm pretty confident I've got a winner.

Asshole.

Ungrateful asshole.

Take care peeps, and thanks to those who've offered help already.

Later.

...Art

Oh yuck.

Today I ate a bad almond. It was brownish in the middle. It was really really gross.

...Art
Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

Jack Frost nippin' at my what-now?

Holy crap is it cold out there.

Last night I went out with a friend of mine to shoot the proverbial shit at a Starbucks. Interesting venue choice, seeing as how neither Todd nor I like coffee. I must say though, the hot chocolate I had there was VERY much needed. It helped me warm my hands holding it, and my soul going down.

Okay, I know that soul thing’s a bit of a stretch. But really, I could have a soul… Really! Alright, whatever.

I don’t know if any of you guys were out last night in the GTA, or really other parts of the world where things are cooling off, but I can only speak for the Greater Toronto Area myself… it was damn cold. This morning, there was frost on my windshield. My wipers made scraping sounds. It’s the second day of OCTOBER. Ungh.

Thanks anyway to Starbucks for having warm liquid chocolate available to me at a silly premium-beer-at-a-pub price.

Today’s also vote day, so I hope you get/got out there and wasted your ballot and time influencing a system that didn’t care if you showed up or not. Happy Election Day, Ontario! Wheeee!

Around here, I get my choice of random impotent asshats within the Liberal and Progressive Conservative parties… Bunch of useless backpeddin’ dolts. NDP’s representin’ with their own plan to spend us into oblivion… The Green Party of Ontario just about got my vote until I realized it wasn’t THAT kind of green they were talking about… God damned tree-hugging hippies. Oh, the Family Coalition Party of Ontario is in the hizzouse which, as far as I can tell, is some militant religious group hell bent on keeping gay people from marrying, and doing everything possible to ensure that little Billy encounters as little traffic delay on his way to soccer practice as possible.

God I hate children, with their running noses and screaming and crying. All that running underfoot while you’re trying to get from wherever to some other place. The other day a kid was running around in a store… Sears, I think it was. Yeah, it was Sears. I was looking for a tool set you see. Anyway, I was walking around Sears and some kid came running along, looking to the side, and slammed into my leg. Fell flat on its ass. The parent apologized on behalf of their spawn. God damned kids.

On that note, I leave you now with a little chunk of Instant Messaging goodness.

[12:59] neoeclectic: so.. like.. do you want children?
[12:59] RawEffect: Depends on how they're prepared.
[12:59] neoeclectic: tied up and well lubed?
[13:00] RawEffect: Hrm
[13:00] RawEffect: No.
[13:00] neoeclectic: haha
[13:00] neoeclectic: perhaps that was a going a bit too far
[13:00] RawEffect: I'm thinking of putting that in my blog
[13:00] RawEffect: That's hilarious
[13:01] neoeclectic: Just don't mention my name or anything that can be linked with me:-P
[13:01] RawEffect: Okay
[13:01] neoeclectic: Shit, I just ate 1 kg of pad thai
[13:02] RawEffect: Did any of that contain children?

Art
…mmm… spicy crispy children.