A random bit of tid for you guys.

Hey gang.

Not much to report, but since it’s been forever since I updated, thought I’d post SOMETHING.

Godsmack kicked ass. I had to cause two people to cease their uprightedness though. In the moshpit, right in front of me, this guy insisted on jumping up and down. Not a problem, really. What’s a moshpit without some jumpin’ around? What I had a problem was his insistence on jumping backwards into me all the time.

I pushed forward.

He jumped back.

I pushed to the side.

He kept jumping back at me. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t like guys rubbing up against me. Honest.

I pushed to the side, and timed his jumps… after about three or four hops, he jumped and I kicked his legs out from under him. He landed on his side on the concrete floor in front of me. He stopped jumping into me then.

The other guy was some white trash wife-beating asshole who ran around the pit shoving everyone. He slammed into me twice. I knew there’d be a third time, and I waited. Finally, he was running, backwards, towards me. I stepped back a bit, stuck my leg out, and shoved. I felt a pat on my back, heard some others laughing, and no one helped him up. Apparently I wasn’t alone in my annoyance.

My problem now is this: I’m depressed. Edgefest, Delerium, and Godsmack came and went. I don’t have any more concert tickets stuck to the fridge… nothing to look forward to. Anyone want to hire me? Pay me well? I need me some of that disposable income.

Oh, and Kermie hurt his hand. I don’t know if it’s broken or what, but he managed to mangle it up pretty badly. The poor guy fell off his platform today when he turned around but couldn’t use his hand to pull himself back onto the platform. I ran, but didn’t make it in time.

He walks around dragging his body, holding his hand up in the air. It’s gut-wrenching to watch. Poor guy.

I guess that’ll about do it for today. I need to figure out how to post a blog from my cell phone, as there are things that happen occasionally that I intend to blog about but don’t retain in my old-man failing memory long enough to deliver to you fine people.

Oh, except this.

What the fuck’s up with all the god damned ricers parking their rides inside Yorkdale Mall? I was walking along with Ari and Joe and just about every 30 seconds or so we came upon yet another vehicle with too many spoilers, strobe lights, 45 HP exhaust cans… If I had a dollar for every time I uttered “Oh my god, the rice”, I’d be … well several dollars better off. They were handing out posters and shit. I don’t understand.

The star Ricer accessory had to be the little fins someone screwed into their front bumper. They were small, like the palm of my hand, triangular… stuck to the side of the front bumper. Even if they were pointing at a 45 degree angle downwards… how much downforce could they possibly generate, even at highway speeds? You know that feeling of sticking your hand out the window on the highway, and changing the pitch of your hand to make it go up and down? You know how it won’t work unless you help it out by keeping your arm up to neutralize the weight of your arm? How much downforce could those little fins generate when they’re almost horizontal stuck to the bumper of a car?

THAT’ll help you corner, FOR SURE! Man, you’d be better off adding a small bag of rice, say, a two pound bag to each side of the bumper. How’s THAT for a Ricer accessory? BAGS OF RICE! “Adds the look of LAMER!” I should get on the horn with Canadian Tire and see if they want to carry MY performance accessories!

…Art
Why do I bother?

Bad Symantec. Bad. Oh, you too CNN. Naughty friggers.

Hello my anonymous blog friends.

For some reason, when I tried this I got a logon screen to access the documents. I left things blank, and pressed OK three times, and it worked. I can't be bothered to learn why this happened, so for now... yeah, just deal with it. On the otherhand, if you know why, and can tell me how to fix it, please do.

Anyway, there’s some auxiliary reading for you all to do today, if you wish. Yes, for yesterday I received an interesting email. For those of you who couldn’t be bothered, Symantec wrote my ISP to bitch and moan about me allegedly sharing a copy of their software on Kazaa. Guess I’ll just have to add Symantec to my list of companies I’ll boycott.

For those of you who give a shit, here is a link to my reply. A second email from the ISP is available here, and my reply to that one can be found here. This final email is the one that makes me feel especially good about my ISP. Please feel free to drop whoever you’re with currently, and sign up with them… they’re good peeps. I'm sure their behaviour is common among ISPs, but frankly they've gone out of their way in the past to help me out with stuff, so... yeah. They're good peeps.

I’d like to share with you some nonsense that’s been getting my attention lately. Normally I don’t watch CNN, but I did so yesterday because… well, because I was just looking for random hurricane footage and I trusted them not to fuck that up. Unfortunately, I caught them at an off-hurricane moment, and heard something that made me laugh out loud.

Someone on CNN was busy reporting that the reason why the US hasn’t found weapons of mass destruction was because Saddam lied about having them. See what just happened here? The way I remember things, the US and Britain had intelligence with proof of the existence of these things. That’s why they’re in there, watching a bunch of soldiers die every week. This whole war was because Saddam was supposed to be poised to thump US/Israeli interests with these horrible weapons… while as I recall, Iraq spent a good amount of time saying they’ve complied with demands to disarm. I also seem to remember the White House saying that Iraq was full of shit, hadn’t disarmed, had mobile weapons factories, a ton of missiles buried under the sand, and they had the intelligence to prove it.

Turns out a good portion of that intelligence was forged, and I believe they’ve got 1,400 scientists, military experts, and intelligence people on the ground that haven’t found anything in five months and counting.

Oops.

But, hey, at least the guy guilty of brining this all on by lying to the world… oh, hold on, he was telling the truth… or something… anyway, at least they went off and spent all that money on the war and successfully assassinated him.

…oh, wait… he released some new audio tape recently. Hrm. So he’s still alive and kicking. But at least they got that Osama bin-Bastard in that other military exercise in Afghanistan.

…oh, wait…

Apparently Bush had come out yesterday and told everyone that there’s no evidence tying Saddam to the attacks on September 11th. Americans seem largely confused, as that’s what they thought they were in that war for.

Ah, CNN. The network hired to brainwash America.

Hope you guys are enjoying your hurricane, or depending on when you read this… hope you enjoyed the hurricane. Or, if you’re someone reading this from outside the North American Eastern Seaboard, hope you haven’t been too bored with all this shite.

Incidentally, went to go see Delerium yesterday. Great show. SO got my chill-on. Those of you who didn’t come, HAH. Those who did, you know you saw a good show.

Today’s my day off.

Tomorrow, Godsmack. I’m SO getting my smack-on tomorrow. My stompin’ boots are waiting.

For those who know of him, I have a Cooper-quote for ya. Cooper’s mom was trying to get him to finish eating and issued a threat. If he doesn’t eat all his food, he’s not going over to Mark’s after dinner. He barked back, “If you don’t stop yelling at me, you’re not allowed to go to work tomorrow!”

Ah, four year olds.

I’m outta here peeps.

…Art
It’s nothing personal

Bleh.

So I got a new phone today. Free of charge. No contract to sign. Brand-spankin’ new.

Only it came with an invoice telling me how much my account would be billed. That doesn’t sound like free to me anymore.

A phone call to my carrier got that cleared up though. And my new phone? Drops calls. Oh, and also doesn’t like putting punctuation in text messages. It’s a Samsung you see. I hate Samsung. No one at Samsung ever tests their phones, I’m certain of it.

My initial reaction was to call Bell and cancel my account. Obviously their network sucks ass around my house, since this is the second Bell phone that’s crapped out here. And the Erin Mills Town Center. And my sister’s place in Hamilton. Actually, now that I think about it, seems like everywhere I stop to use the phone, coverage sucks. Then I realized something else. Rogers is worse. Fido doesn’t go north of Barrie. Telus and I are going through the court system. I’m stuck here.

Seems about inline with the rest of my life, guess I should be getting used to this by now.

Depressed, I went off and returned my old phone to Best Buy. They still owe me $70 for an extended warranty I cancelled. I called them to follow up on it, and they were supposed to call me back. A few times. They never did. Best Buy’s customer care is horrible, those fuckers.

Further bummed, I thought I’d do something I rarely ever do. I bought something for myself. Spend a little money on a nifty toy. I used to do this before, a few years ago, when I had… uhm… what do they call it? Oh yeah, disposable income. It’s been so long, I just about forgot what they called that. Bought myself a Perstel DAB radio.

I drove home, couldn’t wait to get that puppy fired up, and give my ears a shot of digital audio happiness. Stuck two brand new AA’s into it, flipped the switch… nothing. Removed the batteries, checked orientation, stuck them back in, flipped the switch. Nothing.

I went back and had the west-end GTA checked for inventory… no one had anymore. I returned mine and shuffled on home. I can’t begin to tell you how bummed I am.

When I got home I got a phone call from U-Haul. It was cutting out on my brand-new Samsung phone, but I got most of the conversation figured out. I rented a trailer a couple of days ago for a few hours to help my sister move her stuff to Hamilton. They wanted to know if I planned on keeping the trailer much longer. Funny, I returned it the same day I rented it. Why do I get the feeling that there’s going to be some large charge on the Visa for this? Incidentally, the previous two rentals from U-haul resulted in theft of $80 or so. How so? A full tank was reported as not being full… and my car’s wiring harness was cut out and replaced, without ever receiving my authorization for the work, even though… even though it worked. Yeah, wrap your minds around that. I was charged for installation too, even though I was sitting on the ground in their parking lot with a tester in my hand finding and replacing the fuses they blew when they fucked up the installation.

So I guess there’s going to be a few extra days of rental charged this time. Or maybe a new trailer, if they’ve managed to lose this one. I don’t know. I’ve stopped caring.

Incidentally, my U-Haul trailer hitch is loose. Which causes me grief ‘cuz my parents want me up north at the cottage this weekend. With my quad. To haul wood. You know, it’s not like I had other plans… no, not at all.

Oh, I was then given attitude when I said that I’d be hauling the quad back here again later. Why? Well, I want to go riding some trails not to far from here. Problem is, whenever I want to go, and have company to do so, my parents or sister seem to have taken the car. You know, I’m in the city for the weekend, they’ve taken my car up north, I wanna go riding, but don’t have a car to haul the trailer anywhere.

They don’t seem to understand why any of this upsets me.

They started talking about the following weekend too. “Uh, no,” I said. WHAT DO I MEAN, NO? Well, see, I’ve purchased fucking concert tickets for next week. SO NO.

…I give up.

I was going to go out with Iza and some friends tonight. Get some booze and such. You know, have a good time. Those plans were cancelled though. Ask me if I'm surprised.

As I sit here writing this, something banged into the glass here. I heard footsteps running away.

Why?

Why throw shit at my windows?

Seriously, what did I ever do to you fuckers?

I just want a phone that works, an occasional toy that works… hell, it was a ‘for me’ purchase. Really, the first one in years. Would it have been too much to ask it to fucking work? I want a car that works… mine’s developed a severe popping sound I have yet to track down, a bunch of body panels are out of alignment, and the hitch is fucked. I blame this on people removing all the straps that held my quad in place, and leaving it on the trailer in neutral, and no parking brake. It came crashing down towards my car, bending the trailer and warping my car. Oh, and I want to be left in peace. Really. Don’t throw shit at my windows.

I don’t want much.

…I get even less.

…Art
I can’t be bothered to proof-read. Deal with it.

ID? We don't need no shtinkin' ID.

Went out with Iza yesterday to put her newly valid-for-bar-entry ID to work.

Queen was largely closed in the area around Bathurst. Velvet Underground, Savage Garden, Zen... all that's closed.

We grabbed some pizza at Amato's, and headed off into the streets looking for a place that was open on a Tuesday.

Modesto served us booze without asking for ID... but certainly the Bovine Sex Club would card!

We stood at the door for a little bit as the club was at capacity... but the doorman let us in without asking for ID.

Drats.

Sorry we couldn't put your ID to use, Iza, but happy birthday anyway. Makes me a little pissed that we didn't head downtown before. Heh, oh well.

...Art
"I'm going to spank you into the danger zone!!"

I did it, and it felt good!

So long, old friend.

So I went to Edgefest on the weekend. Sort of a sweet and sour meal, that was.

After getting in line for tickets on opening day, I found out that the early-birds were sold out as soon as the ticket counter opened. I walked away, empty-handed.

Did I really want to pay regular price? $51? No. Not really. But sort of. I mean... Edgefest. At Molson Park. For the last time ever.

But really. $51, and no one I knew was going... I wouldn't go alone. No, that'd be silly.

But... it was Edgefest. And the last concert ever at Molson Park. The park was sold to some company named Park Place Corporation earlier this year... a portion of the land donated to the city of Barrie... My baby was being sliced and diced, and sold to the highest bidder.

Maybe I would go alone. Molson Park and I have history... most of the best shows I've ever seen were held there. Hell, I've been going there to see concerts since I was old enough to drive.

Ah, driving up to Molson Park has been fun too. Like the time I went to go see Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson, PWEI, Soundgarden, and others with my buddy Rob. It was a sunny day on August 6th, 1994. Yes, company minivan filled with hitchhikers holding up cardboard signs saying “Barrie” or “Molson Park”, stories shared of previous concerts, random getting-to-know-the-strangers type stuff. Everyone was very talkative, excited… the energy in that minivan was wicked. We were in for a great time, that was for sure. We had no idea what was about to kick our asses.

The minivan on the way back had new strangers looking for a ride back to the city. Conversation was different, disconnected. A bunch of filthy tired people, who just spent the day being assaulted by one of the most energetic shows ever, sat quiet for most of the time. The silence occasionally interrupted by someone’s recount of the day’s events.

“What was written across Manson’s chest in red?”

“Cunt, I think.”

“Oh yeah? I thought it was ‘Kill’. Doesn’t matter, I guess, holy shit what a wicked show.”

The minivan agreed, everyone fell silent for a few minutes… and it started up again.

"PWEI was AWESOME."

I puked during that show. Drank a full 2-litre bottle of Coke before going in. The gas in the Coke that happily resided in my belly was released by the COMPLETE POUNDING given my body by the heavy bass from the speaker towers during the PWEI show. My chest shook in a very strange way. I felt the music make my skin ripple. I spewed with such force it scared me.

I talked to Dave Bookman from CFNY during the show, and he arranged to leave an Edge banner behind for me after the show. Still have that banner. Some of you have seen it on the wall of a couple of Christina’s rooms in Hamilton.

There’s something about an outdoor venue like Molson Park that you can’t get anywhere else. General admission’s great. It allows you to walk around to get the vantage point you want. Need to chill on the lawn, it’s there. Want to hit the mosh-pit? It’s the best in the business. None of that crap like at Maple Leaf Gardens where you have the stands and a few thousand in the General Admission Floors area… at the Park, everyone’s invited to the pit. And a third to a half of the crowd IS there. I dare you to find better body surfing at an indoor venue.

The music, the best mosh-pit in the business, the sight-lines, fresh air… Molson Park, I’m going to miss you.

So how was the last show ever at Molson Park? Good. Edgefest certainly wasn’t what it was in the Glory Days of the event. No third stage. Hell, no second stage. Just one stage, smaller vender area, no cooling stations… but it was still unmistakably Edgefest, and yeah, it was worth the $51. Every penny of it.

A few personal highlights I’d like to share:

The Beer Gardens. Our first stop there. The pickings were slim; Labatt Blue, Molson Canadian, and Coors Light. I started with Blue. I figured I should pay Labatt back a little bit for sponsoring the Labatt Blueline. They’ve saved my family a bunch o’ funds on long-distance charges, so thought I’d give some back.

Beer in hand, I looked around for a table to sit at. I spotted one where everyone was getting up, and headed that way. One girl sat back down. Another, came back and sat down again. We asked if there was room for the three of us. There was, we just needed to grab another seat. The other girls returned. Ah. Beer, a table full of girls, some awesome weather, life was good.

Kim, Julia, and two other girls whose names I don’t remember. Ah, such white-trashery. Small-town people… St. Catherines, Kitchener-Waterloo… and it showed. One was upset that she couldn’t drink. Why? Well, she was pregnant, you see. Looking out for the baby. That’s noble. Funny that she didn’t think twice about sparking up that cigarette.

Kim had a tendon injury or some such nonsense in her hand from lifting a box up over her head at work. It bent her wrist backwards. She doesn’t know if she’ll get Workers’ Comp. One of the other girls said she’d injured her wrist too when she was pregnant. I wonder who was babysitting her offspring while she was at the concert. I don’t think it was the boyfriend, from what I gathered, she was single. Hey, normally I’m all about young girls bearing bastard kids. Makes for great TV. Didn’t like sitting at a table with them though.

Incidentally, the lines to get beer tickets (OUTSIDE the Beer Gardens at that) were pretty long… but the queue to get your ass back INTO the area with your tickets was STUPIDLY long. But it was in this line that the first Edgefest incident that restored my faith in humanity occurred.

While waiting in this stupidly long line with my tickets to try and get back in and have some more beers with Ari and Chris, some girl from inside the gardens passed a beer to someone she knew in the line behind me. A second beer was handed to me, so I turned around to see who in the line was supposed to get that beer. I was greeted with blank faces, no one was claiming the beer. So I turned back to the girl and asked her who that beer was for.

“It’s for you.” Unnh? Me? “Yeah, I felt badly watching you stand in line for so long trying to get back in.”

Sweet. God bless… people. Well, concert-goers that give me free beer anyway.

Chris had worked the night before the concert. I think he said something about getting back home at 6am. So, needless to say, he was a wreck. He passed out in the drinking area, and we left him there to rest. Later, when we left, I guess he wasn’t completely aware of what was going on, and left his cellphone behind. A Samsung a520. Personally, I owned that phone and hated it, so it made me feel good that he’d lost it, but no one deserves to go to a concert and lose a $400 phone.

He went back to the Beer Gardens to look for it, but probably an hour had passed by that point. I followed a minute or two later with Ari’s cell phone to try and find Chris. I thought, with that cell, we might be able to call Chris’ cell and get a hold of whoever might have the phone at that time.

I didn’t find Chris. Nor did I find anyone who knew where the Lost and Found was. What I did find was a supervisor who I asked for directions.

“Do you know where the Lost and Found is?” I didn’t expect him to. I’d been given about a dozen blank stares at that point. He didn’t know either.

“No idea. What did you lose?”

I told him we’d lost a cell phone, exactly like the one I had in my hand. It just so happened that Ari has the same cell. He reached into his pocket and pulled out Chris’ phone. Someone had given it to him not 20 minutes before.

God bless concert-goers who don’t steal $400 cell phones.

On to the music. I must say, that girl Fefe Dobson with that song Bye Bye Boyfriend… the one that’s been getting airplay lately… well, some friends and I based a lot on that song.

Manufactured band.

Lame.

When that little girl came on the stage, weighing all of a buck-ten or so, I kinda braced myself for some teen-pop nonsense. But holy fucking shit did she ever rock out live. Good music too. With all that fist pumping, hip thrusting, arm flailing, and jumping around… that girl had STAGE PRESENCE. She could teach that lazy fucker Maynard from Tool/A Perfect Circle a thing or two. A very nice surprise indeed.

Sloan was good. “If it feels good, do it.” Indeed. I did it, and it did feel good. Hoisted up into the air, I fell into the security pit just at the end of that song which finished their set. Stereophonics would have been good if I was thoroughly stoned at the time… they were more groove-out and instrumental than I would have liked at a rock show. Finger Eleven… wow. Pit kicked my ass during that set. Good times.

And The Hip? Man, seriously, whatever Gord’s on that sends him off on those rants of his during a show… I want a case please. He took the time between songs to thank the spot-light operator for his great work. “Nothing fancy,” he said, “just a warm steady glow.”

A hole opened up in the crowd just in front of where Ari and I were standing during the Hip’s last song of the regular set. The hole grew larger, so I looked in. Three people on the ground. A fourth joined them. Looked like someone fell, no big deal. Happens all the time. Only no one was standing up. Finally the forth guy got up and started clearing a path from the hole to the outside world. Still, the hole remained.

Even though that guy was walking away, the rest stayed there. After another minute or so, I stepped in to the hole. A girl was down on the ground, the others hovering over her.

She didn't move much, but I know she wasn't struck, the crowd was calm in that area at the time.

I asked them if she was on anything. They said absolutely nothing. Diabetic? No, they said, it’s probably just the crowd and the heat that got to her. I asked if we could get her up. They said it was okay, and told me that the other person had gone off to get help.

“If the crowd moves, people could be shoved this way and trip over her. Even if he’s able to find his way back here with help, they’re still going to have to get her out of here. We might as well save her time waiting for help to arrive and get her to them instead.”

They really needed someone to take charge. They agreed with what I’d said, and we lifted the girl to her feet. We steadied her, and her friends stepped in on either side. I let her go, and off they went to the outside of the crowd for help. I guess I helped give a little back to the concert peeps. Hope everything turned out okay.

The hole filled in with people, and The Hip came out for their encore.

After The Hip finished up, a fireworks show was set off, and as I looked at the pretty colours exploding in the night sky it really sunk in. That was it. Molson Park’s final gasp. I was bummed, and started thinking about the great time I had that day. Thanks to the bands, the fans, and the amputee blow-up doll. Her leg was tied off at the thigh, probably developed a leak further down the leg, her mouth frozen in that O-shape brought on by awe. That’s right blow-up whore… it was an awesome day, at an awesome venue.

Is it live, or is it Memor—wait, no, it was live. And it was great.

I’ll miss ya, Molson Park. And I’m sure I’m not alone.

…Art